If your introduction would work just as well at the start of someone else's essay on the same topic, it isn't doing its job. Markers notice this straight away, and it sets the tone for how they read the rest.
Someone asked HAITE to check this introduction, with the dial on 6:
"In today's society, technology is very important. Technology is used by many people in today's society every day."
HAITE replied: "That's not an intro, that's a placeholder. 'In today's society' is the laziest possible opening, and you've said the same thing twice in two sentences. A good intro names the specific technology and stakes a position on it. What's the actual argument you're making?"
It doesn't say which technology. Phones, AI and the printing press are all technology, so the reader can't tell what the essay is about. It makes no claim anyone would argue with, because nobody thinks technology is unimportant. It repeats itself, which reads as filling space. And it opens with "In today's society", one of a handful of openings ("Since the dawn of time", "Throughout history", "The dictionary defines...") that teachers see constantly.
For most essays, three or four sentences are enough:
If you list your reasons in the last sentence, write your body paragraphs in that order. It makes the essay much easier to follow.
Fill the brackets from your own sources. Don't put in a number you haven't checked.
"In [year], [source] found that [specific finding about phone use in schools]. Many schools have since banned phones in lessons, but the evidence for these bans is weaker than their popularity suggests. This essay argues that bans help concentration in class but do little for students' wellbeing, because most heavy phone use happens outside school hours."
Now the reader knows the topic (phones in schools), the debate (do bans work?) and where you stand, and each body paragraph has something to prove.
About a tenth of the essay, so around 120 to 180 words for 1,500 words. A long introduction usually means the argument starts too late.
It's usually better to answer the question than to ask it. A rhetorical question hands the work to the reader.
Only if the meaning is disputed and your argument depends on it. Quoting a dictionary for an everyday word wastes your opening.
Last, or at least go back and rewrite it at the end. You'll know what your essay argues once the middle is written.
Paste your work into HAITE and it will tell you what's wrong with it. You set how harsh it is, from 1 to 10. It's free to start.